Rousseau
observed that the surest way of creating a miserable child was to accustom
him or her to get everything he or she desires. The child who has only to want
in order to receive believes himself or herself to be the owner who regards all
others as his or her slaves. Rousseau believed that it was most important to distinguish
between what a child “needs" and what he or she “wants.” The
needs should be richly nourished, but to cater to his or her every whim was a
blueprint for creating a young tyrant. These observations are well-supported by
psychological research on the effects of excessive permissiveness. Children from
such backgrounds may suffer a variety of problems:
-Self esteem may be
lowered because the child is unsure of what is valued and what behaviors
will gain approval.
-Delinquency may be reinforced as adults keep giving
“another chance.”
-Aggression increases if permissiveness
is paired with adult hostility.
Still,
it would be incorrect to say that permissive child care practices in and of themselves
place children at risk. For example, there is abundant research evidence that
democratic child-rearing techniques foster responsibility and moral development,
and that, without a reasonable amount of freedom, a child cannot develop autonomy.
Thus, it is an oversimplification to talk about “permissive versus strict”
because there are so many other variables that interact with this.
Some
adults are not so much permissive as they are indifferent. Their lack of involvement
with their child’s behavior is a measure of their disinterest in their role
as parent, teacher, or counselor. In a real sense of the word, these are “care-less”
adults. Such adults will not likely have much influence on youth. Research shows
that young people only seek help from adults that they see as caring and nurturing.
Other
adults are overwhelmed by their own problems and the difficulty of managing children,
and retreat from an active role in the daily life of the child. This pattern is
becoming much more common among the large number of unmarried teenage parents.
Still children themselves, many of these “premature mothers” lack the
social maturity and personal resources to meet the responsibility of parenting.
In
some cases, adults may get vicarious satisfaction out of the antics of a child’s
wild behavior. Again, this is not so much permissiveness as reinforcing a
child in mischief or evil. A prominent example in history is the childhood of
Louis XIII of France. As a small boy he was taught sexual tricks which he eagerly
performed for the entertainment of adult onlookers. At 14, Louis was married and
forcibly put in his wife’s bed by his mother while young men gathered around
to cheer him on with ribald stories.
Professionals
working with abused children often encounter situations where adults have lured
the child into substance abuse, theft, or sexual activity. In these most severe
cases of care-less parenting, children fail to internalize moral values. Lacking
a conscience, seemingly incapable of concern towards others, such youth are given
labels like “psychopathic” or “affectionless.” They are among
the difficult children to teach or treat, since they are cut off from the human
bonds which make one human.
Adapted
from Reclaiming Youth At Risk: Our Hope for the Future. Brendtro, Larry
K., Brokenleg, Martin, and Van Bockern, Steve. National Educational Service: Bloomington,
IN. 1990.
Characteristics, Correlates, and Outcomes of Childhood and
Adolescent Depressive Disorders
- Rao, U. and Chen, L. (2009). Characteristics, Correlates, and Outcomes of Childhood and
Adolescent Depressive Disorders.
“Personal
Reflection” Journaling Activity #2
The preceding section contained
information on childhood indulgence. Write three case study examples regarding
how you might use the content of this section of the Manual in your practice.
Online Continuing Education QUESTION
22:
According to Rousseau, what is the surest way to make a child miserable?
To select and enter your answer go to CEU Test.
