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On the last track we discussed how typical women view male intimacy. We found that men suffer similarly and that men also long for intimacy. We also discussed the ‘Take the Opposite Track’ technique.
On this track we will discuss Avoiding Taboo-Loaded Communication. For the purposes of this track, Avoiding Taboo-Loaded Communication will consist of six steps. The six steps are be specific, be straight, be direct, be clear, create a climate for honesty, and tell the truth.
Alan, age 32... was decimated by the ending of a two-year courtship. Alan stated, "Everyone thinks I’m doing great. In fact, one of my best friends, a widow, said to me, ‘What’s your problem? You’re handsome; you’re solvent; you’re available: you’re a great catch. What have you got to complain about?’ People just don’t understand. I’m not—and women aren’t—just a commodity. As ridiculous as it may sound, I want a woman I can really love, and that’s not just anyone. I couldn’t tell my friend of course, but I’ve literally spent most of the last four weekends alone, just staring at the wall."
Think of your Alan. Why might your client feel as though he cannot talk to his friends about how a desire for intimacy affects him? Might the following technique benefit your Alan?
Step # 1 - Be Specific
Step # 2 -Be Direct
Step # 3 - Be Straight
Step # 4 - Be Clear
"Too much planning is trying to control how the conversation will go despite what the other person may or may not say. ‘Just enough planning’ is having your facts and knowing the ideas you want to get across. It also involves taking the other person into account. For example, considering if your friend is more open to discussion before or after lunch. You usually have to create and adjust the conversation to get the result you want."
Step # 5 - Create a Climate for Honesty
"3 Questions to Tell the Truth" Technique
Think of your Alan. How might Avoiding Taboo-Loaded Communication foster an ability to communicate regarding a hidden desire for intimacy in your client? Could playing this track for client education in an upcoming session benefit your client?
On this track we discussed Avoiding Taboo-Loaded Communication. For the purposes of this track, Avoiding Taboo-Loaded Communication consisted of six steps. The six steps are be specific, be straight, be direct, be clear, create a climate for honesty, and tell the truth.
On the next track we will discuss becoming aware of intimate discontent. A technique for becoming aware of intimate discontent that I implement in my practice consists of three steps. The three steps to becoming aware of intimate discontent are experiencing feelings and defining what is wanted, and rediscovering old strategies.
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