| In
the last track, we reviewed how the Invisible Dragon of shame can result in physical
abuse. Do you agree that shame and control often go hand-in-hand with many of
your clients? As you will see in the case of Duane, physical abuse started with
control.
Duane,
a 45-year-old research scientist, came into my anger management program voluntarily,
unlike many of my clients. While he did have a police record citing four incidents
of domestic disturbances, he was not court-ordered into the group. Duane stated,
"Calling for information about anger management was the hardest thing I have
ever done. I even drove past your building a few times before I finally pulled
in." Think of a client you are currently treating and his reluctance to change.
Do you agree that a core issue is addiction to control?
  Four Checkpoints for Change
The
power that the batterer gains over his victim has an addictive quality and
is almost impossible for him to give up. With Duane I used the four Checkpoints
for Change that are helpful in evaluating his ability to give up control. As you
listen to these four checkpoints, consider your Duane and if any of these checkpoints
can be used to apply to your client. The checkpoints are: Change is possible,
motivation to change, reason to change, creating a plan to change.
Compared
with court-ordered clients, Duane more easily completed the first and second checkpoints:
recognizing that change is possible and finding motivation to change.
As you know, recognizing the possibility of change as well as forming a motivation
to change are necessary in order for any further steps to be taken. With a court-ordered
client, the recognition that change is possible and motivation to change has,
of course, the legal system as a leverage point.
The third item in the assessment regarding change is having clients verbalize a reason to change. Duane's reason to change, as with many batterers, was fear
of jail time and loss of his relationship with his wife Julie. However, in Duane's
case, he also wanted to avoid the embarrassment he felt when greeting his neighbors
who knew the police had been to his house the night before. Also, Duane stated,
"Damn it to Hell! What if news got back to the Research Institute about this?
They'd think I was some kind of a wacko, and I'd lose all credibility with my
team."
The fourth checkpoint for change, then, was for Duane to come up with a plan of
exactly what to change. This plan for change can be divided into two categories:
internal cognitive process and external behavior.
2 Types of Change
1.
Cognitive. As you know, Cognitive coping strategies focus on internal reasoning
and dealing with the violence at a more personal level. Duane was willing to describe
to me the process he went through in gathering information and deciding if group
therapy was the answer for him. "I'm a scientist, so careful research is
second-nature to me. But that didn't make it any easier. I had to fight the demons
within myself to finally decide on the path I knew I must take."
2.
Behavioral. The Behavioral coping strategies focus on visible ways of dealing
with violence. The batterer may become active in the community or in an Anger
Management group. Duane, for instance, vowed verbally to "do whatever is
necessary" to stay involved with the group and end his abuse. Duane eventually
found that when he was expected to report on his progress in our group meetings,
he became more externally motivated, since he felt a pressure to keep up with
other group members.
"Coping with Coping" Four-Column Technique
I
found the "Coping with Coping" Four-Column Technique was very
useful in helping Duane to discover how he coped with his violence. Here's how
the "Coping with Coping" four-column technique worked:
Column 1. First, I asked
Duane and the other members of the group to make four columns labeled Actions,
Thoughts, Positives, and Negatives.
Column 2. Under the Actions and Thoughts columns, I
asked Duane and the group to list the different types of behavioral and mental
strategies that they felt they had used in their attempts to fight their addictions
to control.
Column 3. Under the Positive and Negative columns, I asked the group to list
the positive and negative effects of each strategy.
Column 4. Then, at our next session,
I discussed the coping strategies of the clients and helped them to understand
the effects of the actions and thoughts they had recorded.
For
example, Duane wrote in his Actions column that he began taking on more responsibilities
at work. During our session, I found that Duane had volunteered to lead a research
team for the first time, rather than being a team member like usual. In his chart,
Duane noted that "getting more energy out by working harder" was a positive
result of his action. His frustration with feeling unimportant at work had often
led to his physical violence toward Julie.
I pointed out to Duane that his being
a team leader was also positive because it was an appropriate outlet for his desire
to control. Duane began to understand that he could feel a sense of control over
his life without attempting to gain control over Julie with his abusive behaviors.
Would the use of this Coping with Coping" Four-Column Technique be of assistance
with your Anger Management Group?
In
this track, I discussed checkpoints for change and a Coping with Coping"
Four-Column Technique.
On the next track, we'll take a look at goal-setting.
Online Continuing Education QUESTION
9
What are four checkpoints to look for when assessing your batterer's
potential to let go of his control? To select and enter your answer go to .
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