In
the last track, we talked about Expanding Choice Points. As you know, not all
battering relationships go through the standard cycle that includes the violent
action followed by the honeymoon phase, and finally the build-up to more violence.
Which one of your clients does not follow this standard abuse cycle?
In The Abusive Personality: Violence and Control in Intimate Relationships,
Dutton points out that the type of batterer determines whether a cycle appears
or does not appear. Dutton divides abusers into Overcontrollers versus Undercontrollers
and Instrumental versus Impulsive.
Overcontrollers
versus Undercontrollers
First, let's look at Overcontrollers versus
Undercontrollers. Overcontrollers usually act out infrequently. Overcontrollers
like Charles deny their rage. They experience long-term, chronic frustration and
resentment.
#1 - Overcontrollers
Charles,
age 34, wasn't one of those men who got so wrapped with his life that he took
his wife, Martha, for granted. Quite the contrary, Charles knew all of Martha's
movements during the day. Charles displayed his overcontrolling nature by calling
Martha constantly. He wanted to monitor her activities and make sure she was where
she said she would be. However, in treatment, Charles would deny his rage and
instead feel frustrated and resentful. Jacobson refers to Overcontrollers as "Pit
Bulls," and states they have a masked dependency on their wives. By masked
dependency, I mean a dependency of which the batterer is unaware.
The
Overcontrolling batterer usually scores high on "avoidant personality disorder
assessments." Overcontrollers not only deny their anger, but also avoid conflicts.
I have found that the Overcontrolling batterer usually reports having a cycle
of one week without anger and one week with anger. Thus, for an entire week the
Overcontrolling male might find he has nothing to report in an Anger Log.
#2 - Undercontrollers
Undercontrollers, on the other hand, do not deny their rage. And unlike the Overcontrollers, Undercontrollers
act out frequently.
Thomas,
age 27, came into our sessions complaining about his wife, Theresa. He stated,
"She gets mad at me because I gamble. But gambling makes me feel like I have
at least some excitement in my life. She runs the house by taking care of the
finances and the kids. Gambling just provides a kind of excitement that I can't
get from my marriage. Theresa makes everything so boring and predictable."
In a later session, Thomas also stated that his kids always seem to side with
Theresa. Thomas stated, "I do have a bit of a temper. And I get angry when
the kids side with Theresa instead of me." Thomas seemed unaware of the demeaning
impact his actions had on Theresa.
Thomas
was also unaware that he was making submissive requests when he asked Theresa,
"Will you allow me to gamble?" Thus, Thomas the undercontroller acts
out frequently when he feels rejection from Theresa or from his children. Often
times, his feelings where similar to those which accompanied rejection from his
father. Have you found, like I, that with Undercontrollers a cycle does not appear?
I found that with Thomas the explosions of violence were so frequent and unpredictable
that the honeymoon phase and build up phase were not experienced. Thus, a cycle
did not appear.
Technique with Overcontrollers and Undercontrollers
A
technique I found helpful with overcontrollers and undercontrollers was tolisten to Charles and Thomas without any hint of criticism or rejection. As
you know, this helped to build a therapeutic alliance and create a safe environment.
This obviously is a basic therapy concept. But…think about a client with
whom you have not yet bonded and whose actions are contrary to your value system.
Do a body-scan during your next session to assess non-verbal messages of disapproval
that you may be conveying. Ask yourself, how much "secondary traumatic stress
syndrome" do I experience when treating batterers? Do I need to increase
the frequency of body scanning to create and maintain a positive therapeutic relationship
with my physically abusive client?
Impulsive versus Instrumental
Recall
from the beginning of this track that Dutton not only differentiates between overcontrollers
and undercontrollers. Dutton also draws a distinction between the impulsive and
the instrumental batterer. Both the Overcontroller and the Impulsive batterer
go through battering cycles. However, the Undercontroller and the Instrumental
batterer do not go through as regular a cyclical pattern. So, let's look at Dutton's
classification of batterers related to instrumental batterers versus impulsive
batterers.
#1 - Impulsive
Impulsive
batterers are men who act out
frequently in response to a building inner tension. This building of tension can
be compared to a balloon that is filled with air until it eventually becomes too
full and pops.
Recall
Thomas from earlier in this track. He was upset with his wife, Theresa, because
she did not approve of his gambling. If you recall, Thomas described gambling
as a way to obtain excitement in his otherwise boring life. Thomas stated, "I
am 27 and still young! I need some kind of action in my life!" For Thomas,
excitement, or a lack thereof, is an issue that creates tension for him. I find
that Thomas may feel the way that he does because the rejection from his children
reminds him of beatings his father gave him. These beatings were with a closed
fist.
#2 - Instrumental
However,
regarding instrumental batterers…Unlike impulsive batterers, Jacobson
describes instrumental batterers as "cobras." They tend to use violence
coldly to obtain a specific objective. Instrumental batterers are more intensely
violent than other batterers. In fact, they are more likely to use a weapon against
their victim during an altercation. Obviously, Thomas does not fall into this
category, but George did.
Jacobson
sites the case of George whose intimidation of his wife, Vicky, was cold and systematic.
George used intimidation as a way of controlling Vicky. She would do anything
for him, but it never seemed to be enough. George used Instrumental abuse with
everyone in his life and was successful. As long as he was mean and tough with
women, it was second nature for George to combine sweet talk with threats. George
had an uncanny sense of how to get Vicky emotionally entangled. In a separate
session with Vicky, she stated, "I mistakenly saw George's cynical side,
at first, as a mark of his vulnerability."
Do
Dutton's classifications of overcontrol versus undercontrol and impulsive versus
instrumental provide a helpful clarification regarding a client you are currently
treating? In the next track we will discuss, what I term, "Nice Guy Positioning
Strategies."
Online Continuing Education QUESTION
6
How do impulsive batterers differ from instrumental batterers? To select
and enter your answer go to .
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