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On the last track, we discussed the six common balancing issues ADD adults face. These six common balancing issues were Work vs. Play, Your Needs vs. Others’ Needs, Overstimulation vs. Understimulation, Hyperactivity vs. Hypoactivity, Detailed vs. Global Thinking, and Depression vs. Euphoria.
I find it beneficial with some ADD clients to use the AA Twelve Steps. As you know, these steps are framed around a central concept of spiritual awareness that has relevance to ADDers. It’s the glue that holds all the steps of the program together so that peace and self-acceptance can be achieved.
Closely related to spiritual awareness and integral to the program is the issue of morality and wrongdoing. Typically the alcoholic, like the ADDer, has caused havoc in the lives of friends and family. For more information on applying Twelve Step principles to your ADD client, you might check out the book "You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Stupid, or Crazy?" by Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo.
On this track, we will discuss the ADD adult’s Moral Inventory. The ADD adult can develop a Moral Inventory by answering three questions. These three Moral Inventory questions are: "What Can I Do Well?", "What Can I Do Adequately?", and "What Can’t or Shouldn’t I Do?".
Rachel, age 29 wife and mother, was feeling depressed and inadequate. Rachel had been having problems with balancing issues, discussed on the previous track, but had tried to work through them. After doing the "Daily Log" exercise explained on the previous track, Rachel determined that she did not have enough time in her week to hold a full-time job and raise her two children. However, she felt her husband made inadequate income for her to work part-time.
Rachel stated, "I’m feeling much less stress, now that I’ve switched to a part-time job at the supermarket. It gives me plenty of time to take care of the kids and the household chores. Sometimes I even enjoy some of the new things I do around the house, like gardening and growing my own vegetables and fruits. But I feel like such a failure! I mean, other women who don’t have ADD can manage a household and still hold full-time jobs. I feel like I’ve failed my husband and kids. We don’t have as much money now that I’m only working part-time, and it’s because of my ADD!"
ADD Moral Inventory - 3 Questions
Question # 1 - "What Can I Do Well?"
As you know, some gifts that ADD adults enjoy aren’t always easy to measure or define by societal standards. I explained to Rachel that even though it seemed unimportant, it was still something she could do well, and could be included in her Moral Inventory. Rachel gave an exasperated sigh and stated, "But that still doesn’t mean I can do anything practical! I can’t work with computers very well, I’m not good with math or filing taxes – I just can’t do anything that matters!" It seemed to me Rachel needed a bit of guidance in evaluating her strengths.
I reminded her of the "Daily Log" exercise she had completed before. I stated, "When you added up the amount of time you spent working and found out you needed to start working part-time, you also came up with ways to make do with less money. Didn’t you say you started your own garden for vegetables and fruits?" Rachel nodded and stated, "Yes, but I enjoy gardening." I responded, "Just because you enjoy it doesn’t mean it can’t be included in your inventory." Once Rachel started including things she liked to do in her Moral Inventory, she found her list was longer than she expected.
Question # 2 - "What Can I Do Adequately?"
As you know, the list for what an ADD adult can do adequately could include things that the ADD adult can do reasonably well. I explained this to Rachel and stated, "You may not be an amazing chef at a five-star restaurant, but you haven’t managed to burn your kitchen down." Rachel smiled and added, "Yeah, and I guess I haven’t killed any immediate family members with bad food." Rachel now had a start to her list of things she could do adequately: cooking.
Question # 3 - "What Can’t or Shouldn’t I Do?"
As you know, many ADD adults work so hard to be normal that they are unrealistic about their own capabilities. I stated to Rachel, "For this step, you need to be honest about your weaknesses. Don’t be concerned with the strengths and weaknesses of other working moms." Rachel frowned, but began working on her list, starting with some of the ideas she had mentioned earlier, "filing taxes" and "fixing computers."
Do you have a client who, like Rachel, is having problems adjusting to a recent change in his or her life due to his or her ADD, such as working part-time instead of full-time? Would your Rachel benefit from developing a Moral Inventory? Would you consider replaying this track before your next session with your ADD client?
On this track, we have discussed the ADD adult’s Moral Inventory, which is developed by answering three questions. These three Moral Inventory questions were: "What Can I Do Well?", "What Can I Do Adequately?", and "What Can’t or Shouldn’t I Do?".
On the next track, we will discuss two common Slippery Social Situations an ADD adult may encounter. The two common Slippery Social Situations an ADD adult may encounter are Good Manners, and the Fear of the Phone.
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