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On the last track, we discussed the Five Stages of Grief that the ADD adult experiences following diagnosis. As you know, the Five Stages of Grief were Anger, Denial, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.
On this track, we will discuss the Balancing Issues that ADD adults face.
Darnell, age 37, has used his ADD symptoms to his advantage to climb the career ladder at his business. Darnell stated, "Sure, I’ve got ADD, but I try not to let that stop me. I’m still pretty smart, so I just use my creativity and energy level to convey that. People notice, and I get bumped up the ladder at work." However, Darnell’s determination at his job has left his wife, Tosha, feeling neglected at home. Darnell works long hours and rarely sees her for more than an hour at night before going to bed.
Darnell’s work schedule has been this way for years, but Tosha is now concerned because their son, Jason, age 2, is approaching an age where he will become increasingly aware of wanting to spend time with his father. Darnell stated, "Tosha thinks I don’t want to make time for my boy. I want to, but she doesn’t understand that I have to work all these hours to make enough money to keep them happy. Sometimes I have to put in extra hours because my ADD slows me down at different tasks, and she just doesn’t realize that! I’m trying my hardest – what more does she want?" Sound like the problems an ADD client of yours may be experiencing?
It seemed to me that Darnell was struggling with balance issues. Have you found, as I have, that there are six common balance issues for ADD adults? In my experience, these six common balance issues are Work vs. Play, Your Needs vs. Others’ Needs, Overstimulation vs. Understimulation, Hyperactivity vs. Hypoactivity, Detailed vs. Global Thinking, and Depression vs. Euphoria. As you can see, Darnell was struggling with the first balance issue of Work vs. Play.
Balance Issue - Work vs. Play
Darnell frowned as he looked at his answers. He stated, "Gee, I really don’t know for some of these. I mean, I really don’t have much down time. And I have no idea how much time I should devote for family and friends. I just know that the amount I devote to them now isn’t enough. But I just have to work so much!" As you know, the juggling act is often daunting for ADD adults.
I stated to Darnell, "If you just go with the flow, you’ll likely find yourself drifting in directions that aren’t particularly helpful. You can get immersed in work and forget that you have a family. Since you have, as we’ve talked about before, an elastic sense of time, you can’t expect balance in your life to take care of itself."
"Daily Log" Exercise - 3 Steps
Do you have a client who, like Darnell, struggles with the balancing issue of Work vs. Play? Or maybe your client struggles with one of the other balancing issues, like Your Needs vs. Others’ Needs, Overstimulation vs. Understimulation, Hyperactivity vs. Hypoactivity, Detailed vs. Global Thinking, and Depression vs. Euphoria. If so, would your client benefit from evaluating his or her balancing issues? Would the "Daily Log" exercise be appropriate for helping them evaluate those balancing issues?
On this track, we have discussed the six common balancing issues ADD adults face. These six common balancing issues were Work vs. Play, Your Needs vs. Others’ Needs, Overstimulation vs. Understimulation, Hyperactivity vs. Hypoactivity, Detailed vs. Global Thinking, and Depression vs. Euphoria.
On the next track, we will discuss the ADD adult’s Moral Inventory. The ADD adult can develop a Moral Inventory by answering three questions. These three Moral Inventory questions are: "What Can I Do Well?", "What Can I Do Adequately?", and "What Can’t or Shouldn’t I Do?"
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