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On the last track, we discussed the importance of forgiveness and "letting go" in order to achieve happiness.
On this track, we will examine how living in the present is vital to deflating your holiday let down.
Your judgment, agitation, and mental chatterso common to your experience comes from excessive interest in the past and
future, but perhaps not in the present. Do you agree?
yourself, mentally, are you in the habit of oscillating between a state of
anxious anticipation and small discouragements; sort of like waves that break
against a beach accomplishing little and then turning back on themselves. Think
about a situation that happened over this past holiday season. Let's go back to
the gift you gave your sixteen year old daughter discussed on a previous track.
What is your gift that you gave or action you took that was not received in the
ideal way you had it painted in your mind.
Our life makes contact with us at the point known as the now. So what does that sentence mean? Our life makes contact with us at the point known as the now.
the degree that your thoughts are lost in past regret and in future scheming, is the degree that you are missing out on what is happening to you this minute
as you listen to this CD. Look outside your car window or around the room in which
you sit. Feel present to what you see, hear, smell and can touch with your hand.
That is the present.
When will you enjoy your child? When will you be truly present to hear a friend or significant other? When will you roll down your car window, ever so slightly if it's cold outside, to feel a breeze passing over your cheek? Will there finally come a meal in which you will taste, really taste your food? Just where are you going anyway? All you will ever discover about the future is that it remains the future just as the past will always stay behind you not with you. With these thoughts in mind, do you ever feel like you're missing some things of real value by continually mulling over past pains and fussing over future plans?
Living in the Present
Or perhaps you're one of the quite fortunate people who perhaps have experienced a narrow escape from death in which you suddenly see the importance of opening your mind and emotions to the present and for a time you were transformed. Or maybe a minor occurrence, a near miss. A child darts in front of your car, you swerve and they are missed and you think, "If I had left my house two seconds earlier I would have hit that child." Thus, you count your blessings. How many seconds did that last?
Could you ever say the following sentence to yourself and honestly mean it? And I'll repeat it twice. People do not have to behave themselves for me to love them and be happy. People do not have to behave themselves for me to love them and be happy.
3-Step "Letting Go
of the Past" Technique
1. Make a list of three situations in which you felt some emotion you're terming
as negative, for example, you felt embarrassed, ashamed, angry, hurt, annoyed,
etc. over this past holiday season. Number these experiences. Experience number
one, experience number two, and experience number three.
All you have left now is your second list, right? The list of positive aspects that make you, you. Concentrate on that list, because this is a catalog of who you are in the present, right now. Be that person that uses the knowledge from your encounters for to act as building blocks to formulate positive mental filters, replacing the old negative ones. Do you see how selectively changing your perception changes your feelings about that past wound and not the person or the circumstances that create your reality.
On this track, we discussed how living in the present is vital to an enduring happiness. You were provided with the letting go of the past exercise
On the next track, we will examine the importance of gaining a personal awareness of a crisis situation through "stopping" and "starting" or something I will call "pausing between the pearls."
Characteristics, Correlates, and Outcomes of Childhood and
- Rao, U. and Chen, L. (2009). Characteristics, Correlates, and Outcomes of Childhood and Adolescent Depressive Disorders.
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