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On the last track we discussed replacement children. Do you remember Jim and Rita from the last track? Because I was concerned that Jim and Rita may have been unconsciously trying to obtain replacement children, I took steps to uncover the couple’s true motivation.
On this track we will discuss how success is intangible. Aspects of this concept that I will describe include the three myths of success, new sets of values, and true success. As I introduce you to the case study of Joe, evaluate Joe’s situation to see if any of the ideas are applicable to a client you are treating.
#1 The Three Myths of Success
Joe began to grieve the loss of his success. Shortly after losing his job, Joe obtained employment at a nearby grocery store. The low wages he earned only reaffirmed Joe’s belief that he was now unsuccessful. Joe’s grief turned to depression. Joe state, "I couldn’t take it. I still had a decent life insurance policy, so I decided that if I couldn’t provide for my family while I was alive, then I’d provide for them by dying. I spent a few days researching different methods of suicide so it would look like an accident. My policy covered accidental drug overdose as long as the medication was prescription. So I got a prescription for diazepam and took the whole bottle."
Joe’s wife found him and called 9-1-1. His stomach was pumped and Joe’s attempted suicide was obvious. His caseworker referred him to me. Do you have a Joe who may be suicidal due to the loss of the myth of success?
#2 New Sets of Values
Joe stated, "Now that I think about it, I would rather lose a job than my family any day." I was glad to hear Joe begin to accept a new set of values. Do you agree that because Joe almost lost his life, he gained a keener appreciation of what was nearly taken away? I have found that clients unlike Joe, who experience the loss of a loved one, may develop a new set of values on their own. These grieving clients can discover that what they have been taking for granted actually has significant value.
Do you agree that much of what society considers valuable begins to seem inconsequential to clients who grieve the loss of a loved one? I have found that these new sets of values can become a client’s strongest internal resource for dealing with grief. In a later session Joe stated, "I definitely realize my own mortality now. Time has become more precious because I know it won’t last forever. My family is what’s really important."
#3 True Success
Joe stated, "I really feel like my new values have helped me start to become satisfied with who I am. I don’t need prestige or possessions to feel whole anymore." As you have probably experienced, the cultivation of positive internal values such as new values and a true perspective on success can lead to grieving clients finding meaning in spite of loss. Do you have a client you are currently treating who may benefit by having this track played during a session?
On this track we discussed how success is intangible. Aspects of this concept that I described include the three myths of success, new sets of values, and true success.
On the next track, we will discuss Investing in Solitude. We will describe two techniques for investing in solitude. We will also discuss the panic of being alone, and the three ways in which clients may try to avoid self-awareness. The three ways in which clients may try to avoid self-awareness are busyness, killing time, and noise.
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