Sponsored by the HealthcareTrainingInstitute.org providing Quality Education since 1979
Add to Shopping Cart

Borderline Personality Impulse Control with Schema Therapy
Borderline & Schema Therapy continuing education addiction counselor CEUs

Section 9
Borderline Personality Disorder & Emotional/Verbal Abuse

CEU Question 9 | CEU Answer Booklet | Table of Contents | Borderline
Counselor CEUs, Social Worker CEUs, Psychologist CEs, MFT CEUs

Many non-borderlines are verbally or emotionally abused by the person who has BPD. Many (but not all) people who have BPD were also verbally abused at some time in their lives. Emotional abuse is insidious. It Humiliation Borderline Personality psychology continuing educationcan be worse than physical abuse.

Although borderlines may act emotionally (and even physically) abusive, it's crucial to understand that they are not usually trying to harm you. Rather, they are acting out of intense pain, fear, and shame using primitive defenses they may have learned long ago. Moreover, borderlines feel as though they cannot control these reactions.

However -- and here's an important point -- for the non-borderline, the reactions to the abuse are the same. If, after reading this, you feel trapped in an emotionally abusive relationship, please get help. If a child in your home is experiencing this kind of abuse, please do all you can to protect them from its harmful effects.

Emotional abuse is any behavior that is designed to control another person through the use of fear, humiliation, and verbal or physical assaults. It can include verbal abuse and constant criticism to more subtle tactics like intimidation, manipulation, and refusal to ever be pleased.

Emotional abuse is like brainwashing in that it systematically wears away at the victim's self-confidence, sense of self-worth, trust in her perceptions, and self-concept. Whether it be by constant berating and belittling, by intimidation, or under the guise of "guidance" or teaching, the results are similar. Eventually, the recipient loses all sense of self and all remnants of personal value.

Emotional abuse cuts to the very core of a person, creating scars that may be longer-lasting than physical ones. With emotional abuse, the insults, insinuations, criticism and accusations slowly eat away at the victim's self-esteem until she is incapable of judging the situation realistically. She has become so beaten down emotionally that she blames herself for the abuse. Her self-esteem is so low that she clings to the abuser.

Emotional abuse victims can become so convinced that they are worthless that they believe that no one else could want them. They stay in abusive situations because they believe they have nowhere else to go. Their ultimate fear is being all alone.

Following are types of emotional abuse:

Domination: Someone wants to control your every action. They have to have their own way, and will resort to threats to get it. When you allow someone else to dominate you, you can lose respect for yourself.
Verbal Assaults: berating, belittling, criticizing, name calling, screaming, threatening, excessive blaming, and using sarcasm and humiliation. Blowing your flaws out of proportion and making fun of you in front of others. Over time, this type of abuse erodes your sense of self confidence and self-worth.
Abusive Expectations: The other person places unreasonable demands on you and wants you to put everything else aside to tend to their needs. It could be a demand for constant attention, frequent sex, or a requirement that you spend all your free time with the person. But no matter how much you give, it's never enough. You are subjected to constant criticism, and you are constantly berated because you don't fulfill all this person's needs.
Emotional Blackmail: The other person plays on your fear, guilt, compassion, values, or other "hot buttons" to get what they want. This could include threats to end the relationship, the "cold shoulder," or use other fear tactics to control you.
Unpredicatable Responses: Drastic mood changes or sudden emotional outbursts (This is part of the definition of BPD). Whenever someone in your life reacts very differently at different times to the same behavior from you, tells you one thing one day and the opposite the next, or likes something you do one day and hates it the next, you are being abused with unpredictable responses. This behavior is damaging because it puts you always on edge. You're always waiting for the other shoe to drop, and you can never know what's expected of you. You must remain hypervigilant, waiting for the other person's next outburst or change of mood.
An alcoholic or drug abuser is likely to act this way. Living with someone like this is tremendously demanding and anxiety provoking, causing the abused person to feel constantly frightened, unsettled and off balance.
Gaslighting: The other person may deny that certain events occurred or that certain things were said. You know differently. The other person may deny your perceptions, memory and very sanity. (If a borderline has been disassociating, they may indeed remember reality differently than you do.) Dissociation is the state in which, on some level or another, one becomes somewhat removed from "reality," whether this be daydreaming, performing actions without being fully connected to their performance ("running on automatic"), or other, more disconnected actions. It is the opposite of "association" and involves the lack of association, usually of one's identity, with the rest of the world.
Constant Chaos: The other person may deliberately start arguments and be in constant conflict with others. The person may be "addicted to drama" since it creates excitement. (Many non-BPs also are addicted to drama.)
- Hoff, Bert, Borderline Personality Disorder and Abusive Relationships, Mason Press: Newark, 1999.
The article above contains foundational information. Articles below contain optional updates.

=================================

Personal Reflection Exercise #3
The preceding section contained information about borderline personality disorder and emotional/verbal abuse. Write three case study examples regarding how you might use the content of this section in your practice.

Online Continuing Education QUESTION 9
What is like brainwashing in that it systematically wears away at the victim's self-confidence, sense of self-worth, trust in her perceptions, and self-concept? Record the letter of the correct answer the CEU Answer Booklet.

 
Others who bought this Borderline Course
also bought…

Scroll DownScroll UpCourse Listing Bottom Cap

CEU Answer Booklet for this course | Borderline
Forward to Section 10
Back to Section 8
Table of Contents
Top

The article above contains foundational information. Articles below contain optional updates.
Being yelled at: Our brain on alert in a flash - December 07, 2018
What happens within the brain when it perceives a threatening signal, such as an aggressive voice? Researchers have studied brain activity during the processing of various emotional voices. They discovered that we notice a voice much faster when it is considered threatening than when it is perceived as normal or happy. Our attention is more focused on threatening voices to enable us to clearly recognize the location of the potential threat.
Why does second-hand experience of neighborhood violence affect some youth, but not others? - November 28, 2018
Neighborhood violence has been associated with adverse health effects on youth, including sleep loss, asthma and metabolic syndrome. Yet some youth living in high-crime neighborhoods manage to avoid these effects. A new study aims to answer a resilience puzzle: Why does a second-hand or indirect experience of neighborhood violence affect some youth, but not others?
An understudied form of child abuse and 'intimate terrorism': Parental alienation - November 27, 2018
According to Colorado State University social psychologist Jennifer Harman, about 22 million American parents have been the victims of behaviors that lead to something called parental alienation. Having researched the phenomenon for several years, Harman is urging psychological, legal and child custodial disciplines to recognize parental alienation as a form of both child abuse and intimate partner violence. Harman has authored a review article in Psychological Bulletin defining the behaviors associated with parental alienation and advocating for more research into its prevalence and outcomes.
Lack of sleep intensifies anger, impairs adaptation to frustrating circumstances - November 27, 2018
Losing just a couple hours of sleep at night makes you angrier, especially in frustrating situations, according to new research. While the results may seem intuitive, the study is one of the first to provide evidence that sleep loss causes anger. The research also provides new insight on our ability to adjust to irritating conditions when tired.
Sexist men underestimate their power in romantic relationships - November 26, 2018
Heterosexual men with sexist attitudes may underestimate how much power they actually have in their romantic relationships, which could lead to increased aggression toward their female partners or wives, according to new research.

CEU Continuing Education for
Social Work CEUs, Psychology CEUs, Counselor CEUs, MFT CEUs

OnlineCEUcredit.com Login


Forget your Password Reset it!