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Bullying: Techniques for Dealing with Taunting, Teasing, & Tormenting
Bullying: Techniques for Dealing with Taunting, Teasing, & Tormenting - 10 CEUs

Section 30
Appendix: Client Reproducible Worksheets

Answer Booklet | Table of Contents
| Bullying
Social Worker CEU, Psychologist CE, Counselor CEU, & MFT CEU

Turning Insults Into Compliments
Review Track 2 for more information on this technique.

1. When a bully says something mean, ignore her or him and pretend the bully is saying something nice to you.
2.  If you can’t think of anything else to say, just say ‘Thank you’.
Example:
Bully:  “Hey Jeremy!   You have lice!”  
Jeremy: “I didn’t know you cared!” 
Bully:  “I don’t like you, I can’t stand you!” 
Jeremy: “You can’t fool me.  If you didn’t like me, you wouldn’t always bother me!”

Asking Questions
Review Track 3 for more information on this technique.

1.  When a bully says something mean, try to stay calm and get as curious as you can.
2.  Keep asking the bully questions about her or his statements.
Example:
Bully: “You sure are ugly!”
Leann: “I guess that’s your opinion.  But why would you want to tell me that?”
Bully:  “Because I don’t like you!”
Leann: “Well, why do you want to talk to me if you don’t like me?  Why don’t you just ignore me?”

Agreeing
Review Track 3 for more information on this technique.

1. Bullies operate by the Rule of Opposites.  If you try to verbally defend yourself, the bully may think he or she has said something important, and increase his or her bullying.
2.  Try to pick something in the bully’s statement you can pretend to agree with. 
Example:
Bully: “You’re so lame!”
Leann:  “You mean I’ve been wasting all these years thinking I cool, when I’m actually lame?  Thanks for wising me up!”
3. Or, try agreeing with the possibility the bully may be right.
Example:
Leann: “I’ve seen that show before.”
Bully:  “No you haven’t, stop trying to act cool.  You’re such a liar!”
Leann: “Well, I thought I had seen it.”

Golden Nuggets
Review Track 4 for more information on this technique.

1. When a bully starts using prejudice as a weapon against you, keep asking him or her questions until you find a ‘golden nugget’ of truth or goodness in what the bully is saying. 
2. Once you find a small sparkle of goodness, you can then use the agreeing or turning insults into compliments technique.

Expressing Feelings
Review Track 5 for more information on this technique.

1.  State your feelings to the bully using I-statements.  Using I-statements emphasizes that you are stating your opinion.
2.  Avoid using ‘you’s or ‘should’s.  By using ‘you’ or ‘should’, you may come across as being critical, which may decrease the chance the bully will respond positively.

Feeding Back
Review Track 6 for more information on this technique.

1.  Try focusing on ignoring the bully’s words, and concentrate on feeding the feelings behind the statements back to the bully.
Example:
Bully: “You know I could beat you to a pulp any time I wanted!”
Charlie: “I don’t blame you for being angry.  Your team played really well, and it must not seem fair that my team won.”
Bully: “Just shut up!  I don’t want to hear about your team!”
Charlie:  “Do you know how well you played?”
Bully: “If we had played well, we would have won, stupid!”
Charlie: “You sound even angrier at yourself than you do at me.  I know you always try your hardest and you usually do well.  You’re not used to making mistakes like I am.”
Bully: “I can’t stand losing!”

Understanding & Sympathy
Review Track 6 for more information on this technique.

1.  By showing a bully you understand why she or he is angry, you give the bully a chance to calm down before she or he acts.
Example: Charlie accidentally bumps into a bully.
Bully: “You stupid idiot!  Why don’t you watch where you’re going?”
Charlie: “That really was quite a crash.  I must have startled you.”
Bully: “You certainly did!  How can you be so clumsy?!”
Charlie: “I know it’s awfully upsetting when someone bumps into you…”

Name That Feeling
Review Track 6 for more information on this technique.

1.  Use a question to point out habitual feelings of suspicion, disappointment, distrust, or dissatisfaction in the bully’s statements.
Example: ‘What happened to make you have such a hard time trusting people?  I’d like to hear about it.’

Tone Twisters
Review Track 7 for more information on this technique.

1.  Use the tone of voice the bully is using to say something nice.

Disconnected Comments
Review Track 7 for more information on this technique.

1.  Use the bully’s tone of voice to reply
2.  Instead of saying something nice, as in Tone Twisters, say something completely disconnected from the bully’s statement.
Example:
Bully: “I’m not your friend!”
Brandy: “Well, I’m not your elbow!”

Playing the Game
Review Track 7 for more information on this technique.

1. Act out the insult that the bully gives out.
Example:
Bully: “You’re so ignorant!”
Brandy (acting confused): “Ignorant?  What does dat word mean?”

Blocks and Pushes
Review Track 7 for more information on this technique.

1. For Blocks, use the phrase “you can try” to put a block on the bully’s behavior.  For example, “You can try to keep bothering me.”
2. For Pushes, use the phrase “I dare you” to push the bully to reverse his or her mean behavior.  For example, “I dare you to be nice to me.”

The Anti-Meanness Chart
Review Track 8 for more information on this technique.

Name: _______________________________________________

Anti-Meanness Steps

M

T

W

T

F

S

S

1. I did not use insults, arguments, “shoulds”, accusations, or explanations to handle meanness today (5 points)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2. I was able to handle someone’s meanness with compliments, questions, agreements, golden nuggets, I-statements, understanding, reversers, tone twisters, disconnects, blocks, pushers, or humor (5 points)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3. When I got stumped by meanness, I was able to figure out what I could have said later (5 points)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4. No meanness came my way today.  I must be doing something right! (3 points)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TOTAL POINTS

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Week’s Total:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rewards: _______________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Behavioral Changes Checklist
Review Track 11 for more information on this technique.

Parent reviews student’s behavior according to the following checklist to see if the student may be displaying signs common to the victims of bullies.
1.  The student shows symptoms of stress such as nail-biting, sleep disturbances, stuttering, bedwetting, or emotional extremes.
2. The student makes excuses for not wanting to go to school, such as headaches or stomachaches.  Or, the student starts skipping school or cutting certain classes.
3. The student has a decline in grades or quality of schoolwork.
4. The student stops talking about friends or socializing.
5. The student changes her or his routine; for example, insisting you drive her or him to school rather than taking the bus.
6.  The student doesn’t know what happened to his science textbook, his lunch money, or why his backpack is muddy or ripped.
7.  More than once, the student has made light of a bruise or other injury.
8.  The student suddenly seems preoccupied with weight, height, build, or another aspect of her or his appearance.
9.  The student asks permission to carry an item such as a knife or mace.
10.  The student talks about moving, changing schools, or running away.

 
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