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Talking to Teens about Sex & Sexting Ethical Boundaries
 

Section 22
Appendix: Reproducible Client Worksheets

Answer Booklet
| Table of Contents | Adolescence/School
Social Worker CEU, Psychologist CE, Counselor CEU, MFT CEU

Avoiding Unwanted Sexual Advances
Review CD track 5 for more information regarding this technique.
Client reviews and utilizes the following procedures to avoid being pressured into having sex.
1.  Plan ahead.  Don’t allow yourself to be taken somewhere secluded.
2.  Look for signs of a possible problem.  Alcohol or drugs might indicate possible problematic situations.
3.  Know how to communicate your feelings.

Communicating Feelings
Review CD track 5 for more information regarding this technique.
Client reviews and utilizes the following procedures to learn to communicate feelings.
1.  Practice verbal messages and put off lines in front of a mirror.
2.  After giving a verbal message, ask, ‘Do you hear me?’ or ‘Do you understand?’
3.  Combine verbal messages with body language to create a non mixed message.

Verbal Responses
Review CD track 6 for more information regarding this technique.
Client reviews and utilizes the following responses to respond to sexual pressure.

“If you love me, you’ll prove it by having sex with me.”

Response: 
“If you love me, you’ll prove it by respecting my feelings and not trying to make me do something I don’t want to do.”

“If you won’t have sex with me, I don’t want to see you anymore.”

Response: 
“If you are only with me because I want sex, I guess our relationship really means nothing to you.”

“If you won’t have sex with me, I’ll find someone who will.”

Response:
“If you are already looking for someone else, then this relationship means nothing to you.  I’m not a sex toy for you to use.”

“Don’t be afraid.  The first time is always scary.”

Response:
“I’m not afraid.  I’m standing up for what is right.”

“Everybody has sex.”

Response:
“I don’t care about everybody else.  I care about me.  I’m responsible for me.”

“It’s a natural part of life.”

Response:
“So is pregnancy and disease.  I’m not ready for those things, either.  It may be natural, but it’s not time.”

“You want it as much as I do.”

Response:
“No I don’t.  I want to stand up for what I believe in.  Aren’t you listening to me?”
“We had sex before.  What’s the problem now?”

Response:
“The problem is that I did something I didn’t want to do and now I regret it.”

“Just relax and let your feelings go.”

Response:
“My feelings are telling me to go home.”

“Don’t worry.  I’ve got a condom.”

Response:
“And I’ve got feelings.  Don’t they matter to you?”

“Don’t worry.  Nothing will happen.”

Response:
You can’t guarantee that.  But I can by not having sex.”

“Don’t you want to do it at least once to see what it’s like?”

Response:
“I’ve already seen what pregnancy is like and I don’t want to see it for myself.”

“Don’t worry.  No one will know.”

Response:
“I’ll know.”

“You got me all excited now.”

Response:
“I don’t owe you anything.  If you’re this easily excited, maybe we should just cool it.”

“I want to marry you.  You know we’re going to get married.”

Response:
“What does marriage later have to do with sex now?”

“I’ll always love you.  Let me share this with you.”

Response:
“If you love me, honor me by respecting my feelings.”

“Making love will only make our love stronger.”

Response:
“Sex doesn’t make a relationship stronger.  It complicates it.”

 Methods for Avoiding Rape
Review CD track 7 for more information regarding this technique.
Client reviews and utilizes the following responses to avoid rape.
1.  Don’t walk alone, especially at night.  Stay with a friend, or even better, a group of friends. 
2.  Don’t stop to help strangers who are parked in a car or van.  And if you are approached, scream or carry a device that makes a loud sharp sound then run.
3.  If you can put up a struggle without getting severely hurt, then try to stun the attacker with mace, a finger jab or claw to the eyes, a punch to the throat, or sneak in a quick kick to the groin.  If you are able to momentarily stun the attacker, don’t hang around.  Run away immediately.  Beware that some attackers may be expecting a fight.  Some attackers may become violent enough to seriously injure someone.  If struggling makes the attacker more violent and you can’t get away, then saving your life is your priority. 
4.  If you are in an area or situation where you don’t feel comfortable, get to a safe area as quickly as possible.  Don’t be afraid to run into a store and approach another person for help.

Methods for Avoiding Date Rape
Review CD track 7 for more information regarding this technique.
Client reviews and utilizes the following responses to avoid date rape.
1.  Stay sober.  Don’t drink or do drugs at parties, and try to stay away from them altogether.  Alcohol and drugs slow down your ability to think and make you unable to make good decisions. 
2.  Tell your date before he starts drinking that you don’t feel comfortable with it.  If he does it anyway, call home, a friend, or call a cab. 
3.  Stick around places where there are a lot of people. 
4.  Don’t give mixed messages.  Guys become easily confused when they see you dressed a certain way, say certain things, or see you dance a certain way. 
5.  Avoid casual touching and speak up if things are moving too fast.

 
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