Examples of Self-Statements Rehearsed in Self-Instructional Training
for Anger Management
Preparing for provocation
is going to upset me, but I know how to deal with it.
What is it that I have
I can work out a plan to handle this.
I can manage the situation.
I know how to regulate my anger.
If I find myself getting upset, I'll know
what to do.
There won't be any need for an argument.
Try not to take this
This could be a testy situation, but I believe in myself.
for a few deep breaths of relaxation. Feel comfortable, relaxed, and at ease.
does it. Remember to keep your sense of humor.
Stay calm. Just continue to relax.
As long as I keep my
cool, I'm in control.
Just roll with the punches; don't get bent out of shape.
of what you want to get out of this.
You don't need to prove yourself.
is no point in getting mad.
Don't make more out of this than you have to.
not going to let him get to me.
Look for the positives. Don't assume the worst
or jump to conclusions.
It's really a shame she has to act like this.
someone to be that irritable, he must be awfully unhappy.
If I start to get
mad, I'll just be banging my head against the wall. So I might as well just relax.
is no need to doubt myself. What he says doesn't matter.
I'm on top of this
situation and it's under control.
Coping with arousal
muscles are starting to feel tight. Time to relax and slow things down.
upset won't help.
It's just not worth it to get so angry.
I'll let him make
a fool of himself.
I have a right to be annoyed, but let's keep the lid on.
Time to take a deep breath. Let's take the issue point by point.
is a signal of what I need to do. Time to instruct myself.
I'm not going to
get pushed around, but I'm not going haywire either.
Try to reason it out.
Treat each other with respect. Let's try a cooperative approach. Maybe we are
both right. Negatives lead to more negatives. Work constructively. He'd probably
like me to get really angry. Well I'm going to disappoint him.
I can't expect
people to act the way I want them to. lake it easy, don't get pushy.
on the provocation
a. When conflict is unresolved
Forget about the aggravation.
Thinking about it only makes you upset.
These are difficult situations, and
they take time to straighten out.
Try to shake it off. Don't let it interfere
with your job.
I'll get better at this as I get more practice.
relaxation. It's a lot better than anger.
Can you laugh about it? It's probably
not so serious.
Don't take it personally.
Take a deep breath.
conflict is resolved or coping is successful
I handled that one pretty well.
That wasn't as hard as I thought.
It could have been a lot worse.
could have gotten more upset than it was worth.
I actually got through that
without getting angry.
My pride can sure get me into trouble, but when I don't
take things too seriously, I'm better off.
I guess I've been getting upset
for too long when it wasn't even necessary.
I'm doing better at this all the
- Goldstein, Arnold P. and Barry Glick, "Aggression Replacement
Training: A Comprehensive Intervention for Aggressive Youth", Research Press:
ART Structured Learning Skills
1. Expressing a Complaint
1. Define what the problem is and who is responsible
2. Decide how the problem might be solved.
3. Tell that person what
the problem is and how it might be solved.
4. Ask for a response.
that you understand his/her feelings.
6. Come to agreement on the steps to
be taken by each of you.
Skill 2. Responding to the Feelings
of Others (Empathy)
1. Observe the other person's words and actions.
Decide what the other person might be feeling and how strong the feelings are.
Decide whether it would be helpful to let the other person know you understand
4. Tell the other person, in a warm and sincere manner, how
you think he/she is feeling.
Skill 3. Preparing for a Stressful
1. Imagine yourself in the stressful situation.
about how you will feel and why you will feel that way.
3. Imagine the other
person in the stressful situation. Think about how that person will feel and why
Imagine yourself telling the other person what you want to say
5. Imagine what
he/she will say.
6. Repeat the above steps using as many approaches as you
can think of.
7. Choose the best approach.
Skill 4. Responding
1. Listen openly to what the other person has to say.
that you understand what the other person is feeling.
3. Ask the other person
to explain anything you don't understand.
4. Show that you understand why the
other person feels angry.
5. If it is appropriate, express your thoughts and
feelings about the situation.
Skill 5. Keeping Out of Fights
Stop and think about why you want to fight.
2. Decide what you want to happen
in the long run.
3. Think about other ways to handle the situation besides
4. Decide on the best way to handle the situation and do it.
6. Helping Others
1. Decide if the other person might need and want your
2. Think of the ways you could be helpful.
3. Ask the other person
if he/she needs and wants your help.
4. Help the other person.
7. Dealing with an Accusation
1. Think about what the other person has
accused you of.
2. Think about why the person might have accused you.
Think about ways to answer the person's accusations.
4. Choose the best way
and do it.
Skill 8. Dealing with Group Pressure
Think about what the other people want you to do and why.
2. Decide what you
want to do.
3. Decide how to tell the other people what you want to do.
Tell the group what you have decided.
Skill 9. Expressing
1. Decide if you have good feelings about the other person.
Decide whether the other person would like to know about your feelings.
Decide how you might best express your feelings.
4. Choose the right time and
place to express your feelings.
5. Express affection in a warm and caring manner.
10. Responding to Failure
1. Decide if you have failed.
2. Think about
both the personal reasons and the circumstances that have caused you to fail.
Decide how you might do things differently if you tried again.
4. Decide if
you want to try again.
5. If it is appropriate, try again, using your revised
- Goldstein, Arnold P. and Barry Glick, "Aggression
Replacement Training: A Comprehensive Intervention for Aggressive Youth",
Research Press: Illinois, 1987